STEP 3 - DECIDE
Step three is the most important step! There is the only question you need to ask! Do you want to live or do you want to die?
Do you want to live or do you want to die? The question that holds all the weight. Often times when people have reached their deathbed, they realize they did actually want to live. Don't wait until then. Ask yourself now. Ask yourself daily, when you wake up in the morning, when you are in the bathroom, when you are waiting for the kettle, ask yourself do you want to live or do you want to die. All that follows is based on this decision. It has the power to move mountains or squash even the greatest health.
"A man without the will to live is more than depressed; he is already dead."Andy Bernay-Roman
Perhaps life has not been worth living up until now. As you looked around and took stock of your life in Step 2, perhaps you can see that your life has lost its vitality. Maybe you feel stuck or overwhelmed by your life. This is a common theme these days. Many of us are aware that our lifestyles are killing us, that our relationships are wounded or that our work is sucking the life right out of us. Illness comes along and invites you to reassess it all. It opens a door and gives you a route out of what is not working for you. Are you in or are you out it asks? Illness can be our route out of life or it can be our wake up call to start to live and move more deeply into life. Bernie Siegel wrote "When we do not love our lives and bodies our body interprets the messages it gets as our desire to end our lives and it then tries hard to please us." In the same way, when we choose to live our bodies will work hard to make that happen for us too. It all starts with a decision. A decision that is made in the core of our being, not just a quick "of course I want to live." There are no assumptions. No right way or wrong way. Just an invitation to choose to be fully alive or to allow yourself to die.
Of course we all assume we want to live, yet many people walk around dead inside, many died years ago but still get up in the morning. We each have a choice. A choice in every moment to move towards life or towards death. It is not important which one we choose, but that we make the choice consciously and move forward towards it with our whole self, not leaving any part dragging behind. Healing from a serious illness is not about battling death it is about claiming life! There is no failure in dying, the only failure, if there is one, is in being dead when you had life and then hating death for taking it away. Some people, when they have taken stock of their lives may well decide that it is time for them to die. They are ready to die. They have experienced enough of life and they do not have the will to pursue healing and change. Their process becomes a different process. A process of letting go. People, who have decided to die, can also experience thriving as they die. The journey to death is ripe with thriving. It is their honesty about their choice to die that can make their death a smooth and rich transition. It is always the honesty that is so delicious to experience. Check out our Living Consciously Dying Consciously resources to explore this further.
Take the time to let this question percolate with you, let it metabolize through your body and your life until you hear your answer louder than the alarm that woke you up! This is the only question you need to ask. We can proceed with treatment, chemo and all sorts of interesting healing approaches but the answer to this question will dictate it all. No treatment, no matter how effective, will bring your life back if you do not have a burning, explosive, all consuming desire to live. It may keep you chugging along for years to come, but you are the only one who can bring yourself back to life! When we make the decision to live, our path to healing becomes very clear. Our decision is that powerful. Only we know, deep within the beats of our heart if we are really up for the call to live. Once you make this decision, it can hold you firm through all the storms that come and keep your ship sailing!
The decision needs to be rock solid, sound as a pound, a real "Hell Yes!" or "Heavens Yes!" might be more appropriate. The commitment to life is 100%.
"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always, ineffectiveness, concerning all acts of initiative (and creation). There is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin now!" Goethe.
Click here to explore the power of your mind. It may astound you how much power you possess when you put your mind to it! Many of us haven't even begun to harness our power yet. We have no awareness of how miraculous we are. Let these resources blow your mind wide open and allow the possibilities for your healing and life seem limitless! We also have resources about conscious dying. For to live deeply we have to accept that we are going to die. Click here for resources about dying. We are here to support you every step of the way no matter where your path leads.
When you've made your decision and got a glimpse of the wonder that you are, move along to Step 4.